mati hat tough
i often feel like i’m trying to be tougher, stronger, braver, sassier, louder, more outgoing, less sensitive than i am. am i denying my true self, or am i just using a little jedi mind trickery to project an image to protect myself? hmmm.

i stubled across this pic of me when i was in mexico and frequently borrowed hugh’s cowboy hat. i might use it in my party invite. i’m planning a cowgirl 30th birthday party with my friend sab inspired by the cocktail cowboy wedding i went to a week ago in LA. it was at a celebrity’s house and i was soaking it all in. there was a cute guy there from that show i never watched called felicity, that at first i thought i went to college with, but then it just turns out he’s famous and radiates that i am famous aura. why is fame fascinating? and then when you become uber famous you must feel like a circus freak. or maybe that’s just me imagining. have you noticed that most celebrities have really big heads and small bodies? my ex chris and i found a doll once that we named “big head little body” and that’s what famous people tend to (generally) look like up close, no? ALSo the plastic surgery in those circles is for real fo sho.